So let me fill you in on the moment I'm sitting in right now. I'm two weeks and 15,000 words away from finishing my degree and about 5 weeks away from moving to New Zealand for at least 3 years but potentially…for my life.
See the word ‘potentially’?
That's where this moment hinges-because I have to tell you completely honestly-I DID NOT see this coming. When I left for Uni I couldn’t leave my house without crying like a baby…when I board a plane I rely completely upon my friends to guide me…The tube into London is a full out adventure for me still after living here for 3 years. I am no natural traveller and I didn't plan it.
Know who else felt like that?
Gideon and Moses…
First Gideon-he was approached by the Lord (selah-take a moment with that) and asked to fight for Israel…want to know what he replied?
‘pardon me,my Lord,’ Gideon said, ‘But how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in manesseh and I am the least in my family.’ (Judges 6.15)
Now Moses-just like Gideon,he is faced with the Lord rocking up and telling him he has to go and shout at Pharoah…his reply?
‘But Moses said to the Lord, ‘Who am I that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?’ (Exodus 3.11)
I really get these boys right now. The job that the Lord landed on my proverbial doorstep is my dream job. I get to lead and teach young people about God. I get to do sports with them,writeBibke studies for them,pray with and for them and take them for coffee…the church is so incredibly welcoming and the Lord is so deeply in this that I'm floored when I think of it.
But who am I?!
This is my prayer…I understand the weight of what he has called me to here. The parents of the young people love them deeply and they have searched for a year for their new Youth Pastor-for me. But I'm just me. I mess up, I miss prayer times, I get tired and annoyed…so who am I that these lovely people would trust me with their most precious young men and women? Who am I that God would plan this for a year without me knowing? Who am I that he’d faithfully put everything into place for me?
The answer to that comes in God’s reply.
‘The Lord answered (Gideon) ‘I will be with you and you will strike down all the midianties and leave none alive.’’ (Judges 6.16)
‘God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM, This is what you must say to the Israelites, that I AM has sent me to you.’ (Exodus 3.14)
There is my answer-you see God picks us when we can't do it. When we are weak,when we are broken,when we are stuck in sin. When we're less-he equips and he uses us for his plans…
Why?
This answer comes a little later
‘The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me, ‘My own strength has saved me.’’
Judges 7.2-3
You see, when God chooses us in our weakness he glorifies himself-so the peace I can take is that I can not do this. But I'm not supposed to. I am dependent on him. His control will work this. His faithfulness with honour my efforts. And so the word ‘potential’?
It's potential because I don't know what's coming…I can plan all I want-but just like Gideon,just like Moses and just like the moment I got offered a job in New Zealand-God has other plans.
Its potential because he may take my weakness elsewhere. Its potential because that's what I have in him.
With the Lord my God- The I AM. I have potential-when I mess up,when I sin,when I miss prayer.
So in those moments when I board the plane,when I sit alone,when I leave my whole family behind and go further than I've ever been-my Lord will be with me.
When I get to teach and lead and pray for these precious young people- I can tell them my Lord has sent me.
And so in this moment-with so much less to do and yet so little time – I am equipped in him. Precisely because of him…
And you know what?
So are you...whatever he is asking you to give up, to take up, wherever he is asking you to go...he isn't asking you because you can do it....he's asking you because he can...
Charli x
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